Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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