My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
