things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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