ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
worst night to have a conscience
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
