So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
