They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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