Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
