He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
