you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
