Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
