is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
