so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
