so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
