why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
