either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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