he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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