Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize