I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
