capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
