People in love make me want to vomit
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
