The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
