dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
North Korea, Best Korea!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
