I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
