Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
