brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
