Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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