I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
