and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
