so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
