everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
