in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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