OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.