some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.