Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
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I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify