Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.