Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
