i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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