when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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