i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
