Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
