yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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