I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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