we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
