How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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