In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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