i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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