God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm getting married
To pizza
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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