Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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