i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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