somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
