I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
