I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
