im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
