no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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