I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
