If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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