On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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