I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
