Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its liver damage thursday
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
