hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
