Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
