We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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