i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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