First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
