we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want nice things and good sex
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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