Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
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I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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