i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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