Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
