community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
