When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
