At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
