ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
