i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
