Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dicks are not precious.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
