It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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