winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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