It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
