he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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