In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
