he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize