Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
